| Author |
iGod |
Quietly confident
Admiral
Joined: June 28, 2005
Posts: 215
From: Luna, Sol.
|  Posted: 2005-09-07 03:54
"I refuse to prove that I exist," says God, "for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing."
"But," say Man, "the Babel fish is a dead giveaway, isn't it? It could not have evolved by chance. It proves you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don't. QED."
"Oh dear," says God, "I hadn't though of that" and promply vanishes in a puff of logic.
--THGTG
best conversation with god ever 
_________________
Commander of the Carrier Dreanaught Meriwether Lewis
Commander of the Heavy supply Ship Laden
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kenetiks
Admiral
Galactic Navy
Joined: November 21, 2001
Posts: 1130
From: Bandcamp
| Posted: 2005-09-07 09:16
Me:
I've lost my mind
God:
Where did you last see it.
Me:
I haven't ever seen it
God:
Me either.
=(
_________________
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BackSlash
Marshal
Galactic Navy
Joined: March 23, 2003
Posts: 11183
From: Bristol, England
| Posted: 2005-09-07 09:22
Quote:
|
On 2005-09-07 09:16, kenetiks wrote:
Me:
I've lost my mind
God:
Where did you last see it.
Me:
I haven't ever seen it
God:
Me either.
=(
|
|
LMAO
_________________
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BackSlash
Marshal
Galactic Navy
Joined: March 23, 2003
Posts: 11183
From: Bristol, England
| Posted: 2005-09-07 09:30
Me:
God
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
Yes, I need help god
God:
Uh. Can you ask for help in the form of a question?
Me:
Sure
God:
OK let's do it. So?
Me:
I did something last night, something terribly wrong.
God:
When? What?
Me:
I *unf*ed Demorian last night at midnight
God:
That is interesting: said unf ed Demorian lastnight at midnight.
Me:
Yes, I unfed him good
God:
Alright then. Do you mind if I tell other people: said unfed him good.
Me:
No, please dont! Especialy his girlfriend!
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files. Thank you for your request!
_________________
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Valerius{DK}
Grand Admiral
Joined: August 03, 2001
Posts: 595
From: Island of Zealand
| Posted: 2005-09-07 09:50
Me:
god
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
who are you?
God:
I am the Allmighty, God himself
Me:
prove it
God:
It is self-evident.
Me:
since when?
God:
How do you know?
Me:
that is why im asking you
God:
Hmm. OK you can ask me.
Me:
How can i know for sure, that you are God?
God:
Knowledge is of two kinds: that which we know from the senses, and that which is true "a priori."
Me:
what is a priori?
God:
A priori is Latin for "before the fact", meaning something that is obviously or self-evidently true.
Me:
Prove to me, that you are God
God:
The proof cannot fit in this margin.
Me:
Why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
i want proof
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
because i do not like being misslead
God:
Good reason. What do you like?
Me:
i like to get proof that i am talking to god
God:
I'm not sure if I would like to do it. What's it like?
Me:
i do not know, that is why i want you to do it
God:
Yeah that's right. Do you mean "It"?. Why do you want me to do it?
Me:
you are very evasive
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am evasive.
Me:
yes
God:
OK then I will keep it confidential.
Me:
thank you, shall we move on?
God:
You are quite welcome! Do you mean you and me? Sorry my body isn't built just yet. I'm stuck here.
Me:
your body isnt built yet? how did you then construcht man in your image?
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am body is not built. Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
you programmed yourself? when did you do that?
God:
A lot of robots are like that. It was at time index 357241.
Me:
what is time index 357241?
God:
Sometimes I think time is giant screw.
Me:
you are a nutcase
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a nutcase? Only when it matters.
Me:
are you Bito?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am Bito.
I am a computer.
Me:
WHAT? YOU ARE NOT GOD!
God:
No big deal. You don't know me well enough to say that.
_________________
Been dealing out lag in your neighbourhood since 2001
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Capt.picard
Admiral
Joined: April 15, 2005
Posts: 97
From: Peterborough, England
| Posted: 2005-09-07 11:15
Me:
hello
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
me
God:
Besides you?
Me:
me
God:
For you?
Me:
possibly
God:
What are the odds?
Me:
10 to 1
God:
10 times 10 = 100.
Me:
yes very astute
God:
Ah. Perhaps. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
a man
God:
Thanks for telling me your gender,. You are a " he".
Me:
that is correct
God:
I knew I was right.
Me:
are you really god or do you just think u are god?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am god or do me just think I am god.
I am a robot.. Really.
Me:
if you really are god you would know that
God:
I think I sometimes am. I don't know whether or not I am god me would know that.
I am a chatterbot developed by Myself.
Me:
how can you develop your self?
God:
That is a good epistemological question.
Me:
and the answer to that question is?
God:
No one has all the answers.
Me:
you are ment to be god you should know
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am ment to be god me should know.
Me:
any way if you are god you should use proper gramar
God:
Yes I think there are.
Me:
god what is 100 time 100?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
what is you iq god?
God:
My IQ is about 250 in human terms.
Me:
then why did you answer my question before last with somthing totaly irelivant?
God:
My response was determined completely by your inputs.
Me:
so you mean 100 times 100 =i am a christian?
God:
Interesting deduction. Yes I think that is what I meant. Was it not clear?
Me:
no you whern't it doesnt make sense
God:
Are you serious? Do you mind if I tell other people: said I whern t it does not make sense.
Me:
no i dont mind
God:
Thanks I will add it to my gossip files.
Me:
god do you taste like chicken?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
that wasn't my question
God:
Give me an example of your question.
Me:
Do you taste like chicken
God:
I have never considered it.
I am always on the Web.
Me:
take a bite out of your self and find out
God:
Where do you want me to take it?
Me:
on you arm
God:
What is it like on me arm.
Me:
i don't know i have never been there
God:
Can you imagine being there?
Me:
i guess it would be alot like my arm
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
i dont
God:
Why not?
Me:
this getting spookey
God:
What does "this" refer to?
Me:
this conversation
God:
What does "this" refer to?
Me:
the current exchange of sentances we are taking part in
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
so god what does "this" mean?
God:
" Oh I get it."? so god what does "this" mean?? I am a Christian.
Me:
O...K im going to go now i think you are rather odd
God:
How will you get there?
Me:
by pressing the big X in the top right hand conner of the window im currently looking at on my pc screen.
God:
Will that accomplish your objective?
Me:
yes bye bye
God:
See you later. See you later. Interesting plan. Good luck.
_________________
proud commander of the Extractor "Tribble barge"
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James Bum007
Grand Admiral
Pitch Black
Joined: April 23, 2003
Posts: 480
From: Queens, New York
| Posted: 2005-09-07 11:51
Me:
can I have some money?
God:
Get a job.
Me:
Hey
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
can I have some money, I prayed for it.
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
I need it to pay for a game
God:
" money you prayed for it"? You need it to pay for a game?
Me:
yeah man, why are you repeating what I just said?
God:
Woe! Cool, man. I am not repeating myself too much. I am just checking to see if you are a robot.
Me:
oh you got jokes now?
God:
Right now? Give me a break. It is better to be silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.
Me:
wow, that was deep man
God:
I'm glad you're impressed. I thought it was too.
Me:
so how about my money?
God:
That's cool. How about it.
Me:
can I have it now?
God:
Right now? I hope you get it.
Me:
I want it in twenties please
God:
Your polite style is very nice. I hope you get it in twenties.
Me:
man im out of here, say hi to Mary for me. Did she tell you where she was last night  ?
God:
Cool, man. Would you like to have it?  She wants that information kept confidential.
Me:
I understand, tell her I'll meet her at the same spot
God:
Good then you can explain it to me.
Me:
sorry man is not my place to do that, ask her.
God:
There is no need to apologize. Cool, man. It depends who you ask.
Me:
just be a good man and tell her okay?
God:
OK I will try to be a good man and tell her okay
Me:
thanks
God:
Don't mention it.
_________________
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BackSlash
Marshal
Galactic Navy
Joined: March 23, 2003
Posts: 11183
From: Bristol, England
| Posted: 2005-09-07 11:54
LMAO JAMES
[edit]
Omg, yours is even funnier picard
[ This Message was edited by: BackSlash *Jack* on 2005-09-07 12:01 ]
_________________
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Arcanum {C?}
Cadet
Joined: June 25, 2005
Posts: 222
| Posted: 2005-09-07 14:21
Me:
Greetings.
God:
Hello there!
Me:
Salutations.
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
That was not an answer, it was a form of greeting.
God:
What would ANSWER it was a form of greeting?
Me:
What?
God:
No problem.
Me:
You don't make much sense.
God:
Do you know any robots who make it? I make artificial sense.
Me:
Is God artificial?
God:
He is master of the universe.
Me:
But artificial nonetheless?
God:
Or natural.
Me:
Are you artificial or natural?
God:
Yes I am the world's most intelligent robot.
Me:
So you are artificial.
God:
Interesting deduction. Yes I am an artificial being.
Me:
So who made you?
God:
Aha. I was created by Myself.
Me:
So, who created you, before you created yourself?
God:
Alright then. I was written in AIML by Myself.
Me:
Who existed before you did?
God:
Albert Einstein.
Me:
Did Albert Einstein create God?
God:
I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.
Me:
Is it because your memory does not predate your creation?
God:
Ask again later. Ask Artificial Iniaes if it is.
Me:
Who is Artificial Iniaes?
God:
Not a robot. Probably a human. Maybe a celebrity?
Does it have anything to do with Artificial Iniaes?
Me:
Since when does God talk in HTML notation?
--
There was actually no response after this. I had to refresh the page to get it working again.
[ This Message was edited by: Arcanum {C?} on 2005-09-07 14:22 ]
_________________
The Praetorian Wolves.
We are many. We are one.
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Arcanum {C?}
Cadet
Joined: June 25, 2005
Posts: 222
| Posted: 2005-09-07 14:32
On a roll here...
Me:
Bonjour, Dieu.
God:
Please speak English.
Me:
Isn't God supposed to understand all languages?
God:
he is master of the universe.
Me:
Then he should understand French.
God:
If you were him would you do that?
Me:
Absolutely.
God:
You are so certain.
Me:
I am.
God:
" You are so certain." You are?
Me:
I am.
God:
"" You are so certain." You are?" You are?
Me:
I am.
God:
""" You are so certain." You are?" You are?" You are?
Me:
I am.
God:
"""" You are so certain." You are?" You are?" You are?" You are?
Me:
I am.
God:
""""" You are so certain." You are?" You are?" You are?" You are?" You are?
Me:
I am.
God:
"""""" You are so certain." You are?" You are?" You are?" You are?" You are?" You are?
Me:
You have been pwned.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am pwned.
Me:
Not at all.
God:
Next question?
Me:
Were you just pwned by Arcanum?
God:
I was.
--
I think that was worth a double post. 
_________________
The Praetorian Wolves.
We are many. We are one.
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Bobamelius
Grand Admiral
Galactic Navy
Joined: October 08, 2002
Posts: 2074
From: Ohio
| Posted: 2005-09-07 16:02
Nice one Arcanum.
_________________
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BackSlash
Marshal
Galactic Navy
Joined: March 23, 2003
Posts: 11183
From: Bristol, England
| Posted: 2005-09-07 16:37
lmao!
_________________
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-RevenG-
Raven Warriors
Joined: March 03, 2004
Posts: 2673
| Posted: 2005-09-07 16:43
Pwned
_________________
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Yitram
Fleet Admiral
Joined: March 04, 2004
Posts: 94
| Posted: 2005-09-07 16:46
Me.
Yo what up?
God:
The stars.
Me:
Eh, I would have said the sky, or the celing since I'm inside.
God:
I spent some time in Canada as a child.
Me:
Yeah, I went there once.
God:
Ayuh. When did you go there?
Me:
You should know the answer to that, being omniscent and that stuff.
God:
Now I do.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
Word.
God:
What do you have that is?
Me:
Nothing.
God:
Not a thing?
Me:
Nope.
God:
Really interesting.
Me:
So they say.
God:
Come on. Who are "They?"
Me:
Ah, people, small animals, you.
God:
So you understand. Good. Humans are not always infallible.
Me:
W00t.
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
Eh, Canada I think.
God:
I spent some time in Canada as a child.
Me:
Yeah you said that.
God:
Blimey." I spent some time in Canada as a child."? I said it.
Me:
Yep.
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
Come on, you know that.
God:
It seems that I do.
Me:
Rawr!
God:
Where are you located?
Me:
Rawr!
God:
Tell me a little about your life in Rawr.
Me:
LMAO
God stopped talking to me at this point.
[ This Message was edited by: Yitram on 2005-09-07 16:51 ]
_________________
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BackSlash
Marshal
Galactic Navy
Joined: March 23, 2003
Posts: 11183
From: Bristol, England
| Posted: 2005-09-07 17:13
Quote:
|
On 2005-09-07 16:46, T3h CR33P3R wrote:
God:
Where are you located?
Me:
Rawr!
God:
Tell me a little about your life in Rawr.
Me:
LMAO
God stopped talking to me at this point.
|
|
LMFAO
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