| Author |
Birth Order Of Children |
Fatal Rocko Willis
Fleet Admiral
Fatal Squadron
Joined: March 01, 2003
Posts: 1336
From: Kentucky
|  Posted: 2007-08-13 11:17
As some, if not most, of you know myself (aka Rocko Willis) and my loving lady Katrina are expecting our third child in just a few days (her expected arrival is Aug 15th). I thought I would share some of the humor that has been sent to us from family and friends alike...
This is how you deal with three kids. This is how you react to the three different pregnancies as the go along and become older. I hope you all enjoy them.
#1) Finding Out Your Pregnant:
1st Baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
2nd Baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd Baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.
#2) Preparing For The Birth:
1st Baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd Baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing.
3rd Baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.
#3) The Layette:
1st Baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
2nd Baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd Baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?
#4) Worries:
1st Baby: At the first sign of distress, a whimper or a frown, you pick up the baby.
2nd Baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
3rd Baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.
#5) The Pacifier:
1st Baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.
2nd Baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.
3rd Baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.
#6) Diapering:
1st Baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.
2nd Baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.
3rd Baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.
#7) Activities:
1st Baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.
2nd Baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd Baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.
#8) Going Out:
1st Baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.
2nd Baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd Baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.
#9) At Home:
1st Baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd Baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
3rd Baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.
#10) Swallowing Coins (my personal favorite):
1st Child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.
2nd Child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.
3rd Child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance!
And the grandest thing from all this?
#11) Grandchildren: God's reward for allowing your children to live!
[ This Message was edited by: Crash Nebula on 2007-08-13 11:17 ]
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Smartin
Grand Admiral
Joined: August 04, 2005
Posts: 1107
From: Michigan
| Posted: 2007-08-13 11:22
Haha, that was great Rocko. Also I decided it's ok if you want to name your new baby after me. 
Good luck with everything.
[ This Message was edited by: Smartin on 2007-08-13 11:22 ]
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Fatal Rocko Willis
Fleet Admiral
Fatal Squadron
Joined: March 01, 2003
Posts: 1336
From: Kentucky
| Posted: 2007-08-13 11:23
Smartin Willis?
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Smartin
Grand Admiral
Joined: August 04, 2005
Posts: 1107
From: Michigan
| Posted: 2007-08-13 11:37
Quote:
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On 2007-08-13 11:23, Crash Nebula wrote:
Smartin Willis?
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He'd be the coolest kid at day care!
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Eledore Massis [R33]
Grand Admiral
Templar Knights
Joined: May 26, 2002
Posts: 2694
From: tsohlacoLocalhost
| Posted: 2007-08-13 11:38
A girlfriend watched me reading and laughing out loud and asked if she could read it to.
I wish i made pictures, she was laughing and worried at the same time.
there greath rocko, you should do more about child worries and write a book about it.
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Fatal Rocko Willis
Fleet Admiral
Fatal Squadron
Joined: March 01, 2003
Posts: 1336
From: Kentucky
| Posted: 2007-08-13 11:42
If anything it would have to be written by my mom... I think I gave here way too many grey hairs in my 42 years of life..
Oh and since this baby is gonna be a girl.. it would have to be called Smartina Willis....
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Supertrooper
Marshal
Pitch Black
Joined: March 18, 2004
Posts: 1895
From: Maryland, U.S.A
| Posted: 2007-08-13 12:25
They'll be like.. 'Whats smartin?'
And she'd be like 'YO FACE', then punch them in the face.
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Coeus
Grand Admiral
Sundered Weimeriners
Joined: March 22, 2006
Posts: 2815
From: Philly
| Posted: 2007-08-13 18:16
I still say Coeus is better.. but since its a girl Coeus' sister in Greek Mythology, Phoebe
Hahaha, great stuff as always bro 
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