| Author |
Fattierob's Polyonymous neverending fiction (Last part added) |
Fattierob
Vice Admiral
Joined: April 25, 2003
Posts: 4059
|  Posted: 2003-12-06 21:14
DARKSPACE
RETURN OF THE n00b
Part 1 out of (unknown amount)
--SCENE: Virtu the Hutt's palace. Virtu, the giant, lazy slug, is sitting in a chair, while a crowd of people that admire him (who would?) is around him
Virtu: YAKA-BLARG-BLAH-SOKO!!! (coarse laughter)
Crowd: (forced laughted) HA-HA-HA
(A bounty hunter with a mask enters the room, carying a Loookiem, Demorian. She stops in front of Virtu)
Crowd: (stops laughing)
Bounty Hunter: (click) I have come here for the Bounty on this Lookie. (click)
Virtu:....SOKO-BLAH-MOR-O
(Translation on bottom of the screen in white): Fine! 25,000 Credits it is
Bounty Hunter: (click) Make it 34,000 (click)
Virtu: BLARG!SOKO!BSOKS!!
Translation: No! 25,000! no higher!!!
Bounty Hunter: (takes out a Anti-Matter Gernade) (click) 34,000 NOW! (click)
Crowd: (revered Silence)
Virtu:....SOKO!!!SOKSO!!!(laughes)
Translation: HAH! I like your style! 34,000 it is!
Crowd: (laughes and agrees)
Bount Hunter: (reads translation and sighs with relief)
(Dem is Taken away and the scene changes to..)
--SCENE: Front door of Virtu's Palace. A person cloaked in Black appears walking through the Sand towards the front door
Figure: (knocks on door)
(some noises are heard as an eye appears in a slit on the door)
Eye: Who are you? What do you want?
Figure: My name is not important. I want in right now
Eye: Never! this is private club only!!
Figure: (Waves hand) you will let me in the club
Eye: I will let you in the club
(the door opens up and the figure enters)
--Scene: Deeper inside Virtu's Palace. A picture of Josef Frozen in Urdanium is there
Bounty hunter: (takes off helmet reveiling herself to be...HUSSARO!!)
Hussaro: (looks at Josef's frozen self)Don't worry. I'll be their soon...
Hussaro: (walks over to the picture and slowly takes it down. She presses a button and Josef begins turning back into his real form)
(Some time pases and Josef is unfrozen)
Josef: (coughes a bit)..huh..where..am I? .what happened (He opens his eyes to look directly at Hussaro)
Josef: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hussaro: (drops him) WTF?!!!
Josef: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hussaro: ...
Josef: AHH MY EYES!!! MY RETINA!! BURNED FOREVER!!!
Hussaro: Okay....Calm down. You'll Alert Virtu!!
Josef: MY EYES!!! MY FRIGGEN EYES!!! IT BURNS IT BURNS!!!
(Part of the wall goes up REvealing..VIRTU!!!...surrounded by armed guards)
Hussaro: (looks at Josef who is still screaming)
Josef: AAUUGUGHH!H!!! AAHHH!!!! HELP!!! (starts to wiggle on the floor in pain)
Hussaro: (sighes at the guards come toward them) How come he's such a jacka-
END PART ONE!!! END PART ONE!!
Hussaro:Hey! I didn't finish my line!!!
Author: Shut up
Scythe: Tach.
Huss and Author: SHUT UP!!!
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Victor Davion [TSLTB]
Cadet
Joined: May 31, 2003
Posts: 47
From: Canada
| Posted: 2003-12-06 21:47
Quote:
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On 2003-12-06 21:14, Fattierob wrote:
Hussaro: (sighes at the guards come toward them) How come he's such a jacka-
END PART ONE!!! END PART ONE!!
Hussaro:Hey! I didn't finish my line!!!
Author: Shut up
Scythe: Tach.
Huss and Author: SHUT UP!!!
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ROFL so frecking funny keep it coming dude 300/20
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Thugomatic
Chief Marshal
Joined: August 11, 2003
Posts: 166
From: Missoula Montana
| Posted: 2003-12-06 22:48
rofl, this is rich stuff here, i need more. and i request a role if possible.
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Go Griz!!!
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Rocki
Grand Admiral
Joined: August 13, 2002
Posts: 1029
| Posted: 2003-12-07 00:28
*signs up for a part*
And... great story... keep em coming, these are hilareous
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Enterprise
Chief Marshal
Joined: May 19, 2002
Posts: 2576
From: Hawthorne, Nevada
| Posted: 2003-12-07 07:11
Whatever happened to that one guy with the side role with the lame star-trekkie ship and swimmingi nhis ship full of jello with no pants on?
Oh wait yea that was me, sorry my mistake...
-Ent
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Depthcharge
Fleet Admiral
Galactic Navy
Joined: December 08, 2002
Posts: 1549
From: DFW, Tx
| Posted: 2003-12-07 12:48
so i guess that makes me the lead character in Eps 1: The flux N00bie and Eps 2: The Gaifen Wars ?
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Ceridan
Cadet
Joined: May 24, 2003
Posts: 608
From: Canada
| Posted: 2003-12-07 14:33
Quote:
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Bount Hunter: (reads translation and sighs with relief)
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LOL, as s/he can read the translation text 
ken away and the scene changes to..)
Quote:
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Hussaro: (sighes at the guards come toward them) How come he's such a jacka-
END PART ONE!!! END PART ONE!!
Hussaro:Hey! I didn't finish my line!!!
Author: Shut up
Scythe: Tach.
Huss and Author: SHUT UP!!!
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That was funny, keep it comming 
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stuck in Univercity limbo
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Fattierob
Vice Admiral
Joined: April 25, 2003
Posts: 4059
| Posted: 2003-12-07 18:01
Quote:
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On 2003-12-07 12:48, Depthcharge wrote:
so i guess that makes me the lead character in Eps 1: The flux N00bie and Eps 2: The Gaifen Wars ?
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Interesting Names, but I like them. Gaifen Wars sounds okay, but I Prefer "Episode Two: V1.480B of the Attack"
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Tiffy Rando
Grand Admiral
Joined: January 19, 2003
Posts: 354
From: Austin, Texas
| Posted: 2003-12-07 23:31
Oh no... here it comes, the christmas episode...
(Preview)
Enter: Virtu in a santa suit...
Virtu: Xanadu Forever!!! happy christmas!!
(collective silence)
Cricket: chirp
Josef: Oh god, he had one line and he botched it...
Kat: (slaps forehead)
Virtu: I come bearing gifts! Josef to you (Digs in sack), I present helm of obscene bravery!
Josef: A bucket?
Virtu: No, a helm of bravery! And to you Elfstar I present this honorary Gideon!
Elfstar:...
Gideon: I take my ex places, but she keeps finding her way back! DA DA BUM bishh
(laugh track plays)
Elfstar: Heh funny
Kat: What about me??
Virtu: Uhhh (digs in pocket) for you I have this rubber band of wisdom!
Kat: err
REDXII: I love you!
Kat: O.o love me love my dog...
Dog: (looks at cat)
Cat: (looks at Faustus)
Faustus: Hey I just work here...
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AdmBito
Grand Admiral
Sundered Weimeriners
Joined: October 04, 2002
Posts: 1249
From: Its hard out here for a pimp
| Posted: 2003-12-08 01:11
Quote:
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On 2003-12-07 23:31, K-Rock! KAT wrote:
Virtu: Xanadu Forever!!! happy christmas!!
(collective silence)
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XANADU?! HA! I can just imagine fat Virtu roller skating in a Santa suit. And where the heck am I? I combed out my rolling blonde lockes for nothing!
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Darksworde
Marshal
Pitch Black
Joined: September 06, 2002
Posts: 806
From: The Zoo
| Posted: 2003-12-08 03:13
@fattie,
Quite amusing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Fattierob
Vice Admiral
Joined: April 25, 2003
Posts: 4059
| Posted: 2003-12-08 18:28
::shakes his head at kat and sighes::
Okay big Idea coming up
since we all know in Return Of The Jedi we have Battle of endor...
well...i wanna take some DS pics and put them up! ^_^
I have some maps i modded so they have 10,000,000 credits off the bat. if some group of people wants to get to gether and shoot some pictures.
but i'm running a 56k....so it would lag to..well.....a lot
SO unless we can use the Captain Server (leat populated) or someone who's willing to host it on their spiffy high speed
and i need ideas!! so post 'em here!
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Tiffy Rando
Grand Admiral
Joined: January 19, 2003
Posts: 354
From: Austin, Texas
| Posted: 2003-12-10 22:26
A blinding green light filled the corridor.
“Imperials!” shouted the big Soban colonel.
Azuno stared at the emerald wavefront expanding to fill the entire corridor ahead of them. He went into a prone position on the floor, and aimed his gauss rifle at the portal, waiting for the first Stormtrooper to poke his white helmeted head through.
The Soban colonel gave the order to open fire, and instantly the corridor was lit up by the torrent of tracer rounds from the Soban contingent’s assault rifles. He stared intently at the portal, and waited for something to happen, but the only motion in the portal was that of the bullet’s passing through it. The volume of weapons fire began to dwindle, and eventually ceased completely as the colonel shouted out a cease-fire.
There was a moment of uneasy silence, then portal shimmered briefly and a lone stormtrooper fell through, the dead man’s blaster clattering across the metal floor as his corpse hit the ground. Suddenly the corridor was lit up again, this time from the other end, as big green E-web and heavy repeater bolts came rocketing out of the portal.
One caught a lieutenant in the chest, vaporizing most of it before continuing on through to slam into the wall at the end of the corridor. A slack jawed mouth and widened gray eyes betrayed an expression of shock and disbelief on the young man’s face as what little was left of his torso gave way and telescoped in on itself. Another trooper took an E-web shot to the shoulder, severing the arm. The man dropped his rifle, and collapsed onto his knees clutching the cauterized stump of his shoulder. A burst of repeater fire caught the man in the stomach and doubled him over, but as he began to cry out in agony, a final repeater bolt hit him in the throat, choking off his cry with a wet-sounding gurgle. Not the death of a Soban at all…
The entire Soban continent had already begun firing again, but now began to concentrate their fire as white armored stormtroopers poured through the wavefront.
Azuno took careful aim, picking off troopers one after the next. One shot catching a scout-trooper slightly below the neck, the slug blowing through the armor and shearing off the head. He aimed and fired again, hitting another trooper in the stomach, propelling the man backwards and blowing pieces of his innards out through his shattered backplate, spraying a nearby field-trooper with blood. A Taiidan Aruntaki commando charged out of the clump of stormtroopers, racing towards Azuno with something clutched tightly in her hands. His shot hit the woman slightly above the heart and spun her around, but didn’t kill her forward momentum. Her body landed half a meter in front of Azuno and a small silver sphere rolled out of her hands towards him. He studied the object for a moment before identifying it, and started to back away, but was barely able to stand up before the thermal detonator reduced him into his constituent atoms.
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Tiffy Rando
Grand Admiral
Joined: January 19, 2003
Posts: 354
From: Austin, Texas
| Posted: 2003-12-10 23:07
and now back to our feature presentation...
(X-mas Episode, coming, Soon™)
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Fattierob
Vice Admiral
Joined: April 25, 2003
Posts: 4059
| Posted: 2003-12-10 23:16
Authors note: I would like to thank Kat for posting part of her writing abilities here. She is very good at it and i hope she posts more. Also, so far no one has commented on the picture taking....
Darkspace
Return of the n00b
Part 2 out of 3.141519
--Scene: Inside Virtu The Butt..err Hutt's Palace....Huss is in a bikini and Josef is no where to be found
Virtu: (Looks at Huss, who's in Normal clothing, unlike the opening intro) Huba gop mussa?!
Translater: Aren't you supposed to be in a Bikini attire?
Huss: Would you REALLY want to see me in a Bikini?
Virtu: gabo...
Translater: Good point...
(A figure enters the room, in a cloak. A hush falls over the crowd)
Virtu: WABBA!!! VAH KEER LOPPA!!!
Translater: WTF!!! WHO LET HIM IN!!
(A guy goes over and whispers something to Virtu)
Virtu: Wabpa. bork fu dork badork! lookwe thet!
Translater: I know. Spook and Fork, Spork. Just go get me one!
(The guy gets walks away)
Figure: (waves hand) You will release Josef..And Huss
Virtu: (laughes) gaboo poo noodleye!
Translater: Hah! your noodle Tricks won't work on me!
Figure: (reads translation) Wtf. (takes off cloak revealing..$yThe!!)
$Ythe: OKay. just hand them over or you will get killed (takes a couple steps forward)
Virtu: HARGH!! BLARGH IFUST!!! (presses button)
Translator: You're screwed. haha!! (presses button)
$YThe: (looks down as the floor gives way)..ah shi-(begins to fall)AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH......ah?..ahhh..oh wait i hit the floor
($YThe is in a giant cage like think..part of it opens up to allow a GIANT........LOBBYGHOST!!!)
$ythe: GASP!
Lobbyghost:...
$Ythe:....(waits for it to move)
Lobbyghost:...
$ythe:...huh?....
Lobbyghost:...
$Ythe: (walks over to it and walks around it)...well..that was oddly easily
Virtu: (talking to guy) WABBA GABBA DURESELL AAA!!!
Translator: YOu idiot! i told you it needed new Batterys!
Guy: I TOLD you to get the rechargable kind!
Author: Okay this part is lame let's skip ahead to the good part...
(fast forward sequence...)
Virtu: BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH!!!
$ythe: BLAHBLAHBLHA!!! (ignite lightsaber and begin chopping up people)
HUss: Oh no! I'm naked! (everyone dies from it)
Josef: hey look some clothes. get them on let's get out of here
$ythe: blah blah, detnoator..blah blah no time left..blah blah hurry
Author: okay we're done)
(reverting back to real time..)
(Huss, Josef, and $ythe narowely escape as the the palace blows up)
Josef: Well that was close.
Huss: yeah that explosion was big
Josef: No, i mean i almost looked at you before when $ythe accidently cut of your clothes
Huss:...
$ythe: hey guys...how the heck did we make it out of their without any knowledge of it?
Josef: Your the noodli, tell us...
Huss: Okay. We're going to Rebel Command. We got a big thingy going on and we need your guys help
--SCENE: Inside ICC HQ. People are standing arund waiting for the Admiral to come in. HUss, Josef, $ythe, and Monty (Lando) are waiting in the back
Admiral Malduc (Ackbar): (walks into the room)...sup guys..
Crowd of pilots: O.O
Josef: (whispers to huss) you idiot?! you put him in charge?!
Huss: He's the best we got. now shut up
Malduc: OKay..many n00b died to give us this information....so here it is
(some stuff appears on the screen in front of them)
Malduc: the Uggies are building a second Station. We could go in and blow it up, but it's around a planet with cute little walking tedly bears. Also, the planet is protecting it with a shield generator..so we are going to send a commando team in to take it out early on.. any questions?
Josef: Since When did you get Tatical Ideas?
Dem: UUUNNNNFFFFFF!!!!!!!
Malduc:..uhh..well.....you see one day-
End Part Two..
Josef: see! it does happen! he cuts us off!
Author: Your dying next chapter
Josef: !_! But..but i'm a main character...
Author: so?
Josef: ...
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